(Full video- link in bio)
There was a time after I had Evaline that I’d decided not to live anymore, and made plans to end my life.
The looming feeling of “failure” as a new mom in this new “self” I did not know, coupled with physical ailments, pain, and emotional deadness had all come to a head, and I truly believed I would be doing the world a favor if I simply slipped away.
Running, running, jumping, over and over again in my head.
A tender mercy of the Lord stopped me that day, but the shock of the experience has stayed with me. I’ve found it, at times, difficult to look back on and swallow, find those who are comfortable enough to listen, or have felt from some in a sense, that maybe I should sweep it under the rug and pretend it didn’t happen.
Well, I choose not to sweep.
In hopes of helping someone who is in the darkness or has been there, I wanted to express my experience in a language my soul knows best. There’s just something about knowing you are not alone, not the only one.
I hope to say thru this piece, that life is precious. Life is fragile. Be good to people. Hold on. And remember, even when you cannot see it, how “rare, and beautiful it is, that we exist.”💫