@ali_zeck Victim: a person harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or action.
Survivor: to remain alive or in existence, to live on or continue to function or prosper
Transmute: change in form, nature, or substance; alchemical transmutation.
I’m not gonna lie, trauma is f#%king hard. It got me. It took me out and sent me down rabbit hole after rabbit hole trying to come up for air.
Mine wasn’t an event, but rather a series, compounded, which violated my human needs for safety, freedom from fear and the need to have stability and security.
The abuse and trauma I suffered sent me running to the arms of the mental health community, seeking their help, and instead they shoved me down another rabbit hole, into the vortex of “mentally ill,” diseased and needing medication. I gobbled the pills down with fervor, only to be kicked down yet another hole with the horrible adverse affects from the drugs. Psychotic and suicidal for years- a victim to people and systems I trusted.
I get trauma. I do.
But I refuse to let it define me.
I refuse to be defined as a “survivor” because that keeps me linked to things that were out of my control and keeps me in a filter of helplessness, of weakness, of letting something that violated me control the narrative of who I am.
So I flip the script. I’m in charge. I transmute.
I determine what I do with it all: how I perceive it, how I reframe it, how I communicate about it, who I share it with, what work I do to heal from it, who I choose to forgive or not, and my only boundary around all of that is that I not engage in self abuse or intentional harm to others. .
But I own this sh#% now, it doesn’t own me.
It’s taking your power back from feeling helpless. . It’s redefining your boundaries and your needs for how you walk this earth.
It’s feeling that burn of anger, the need for retribution, for justice and instead, consciously feeling it inside your body and then sitting with it, feeling it change and shift form inside of you and then using that force, that propulsion to catalyze a springboard into a new existence for you. An existence now where you control the narrative, it doesn’t control you.